Coming home can be surprisingly complicated.
As I write this, I am in Brisbane, Australia, visiting friends and family in the city where I spent my childhood and early adult years. In a few days I will fly back to the UK, but later this year I will be making the move back to Brisbane on a much more permanent basis.
It is fair to say this visit has stirred up a lot of emotions.
Read more below.
If you have read my book or some of my more personal blog posts over the years, you will know my early life was not always happy or safe. There were years of instability, fear, and uncertainty. I spent much of my youth running from danger and, occasionally, running towards it. By the time I reached my early twenties, leaving Brisbane felt less like a choice and more like emotional survival.
I first escaped to Sydney before travelling to different corners of the world. Eventually I found myself in the UK, with Mexico also becoming an important part of my story along the way. Looking back now, I can see I was searching for somewhere I could finally build a life on my own terms.
Returning to Brisbane in 2026 with my husband has been poignant. There have been moments when I have wondered what life might have looked like had I stayed. There is sadness when I think about the decades I missed with close friends and family members I still love dearly.
But I also know I made the only decision I could have made as a vulnerable young person.
Running away gave me the opportunity to heal, to understand myself, and to create a life that simply would not have existed otherwise.
One of the most remarkable consequences of leaving Australia was Fat Gay Vegan.
Had I not travelled halfway around the world, I may never have spent the past sixteen years writing about vegan businesses, championing the rights of animals, and helping create welcoming spaces where compassionate people could come together. Fat Gay Vegan has brought extraordinary people into my life and given me a sense of purpose I could never have imagined when I boarded that plane all those years ago.
What I have realised during this visit is that the pain I was trying to escape never really stayed behind in Brisbane. It travelled with me. It appeared in different countries, different cities, and different stages of my life. Healing was never going to come simply because I had put thousands of kilometres between myself and my past.
Now, at 52 years old, something feels different.
The memories are still here but they no longer feel overwhelming. I can acknowledge the difficult parts of my history while also remembering the wonderful people, the joyful moments, and the beauty of this city. I no longer feel like Brisbane is somewhere I need to escape from. Instead, it feels like somewhere I can return to with a different perspective and a stronger sense of self.
One thing that has made this decision even easier is seeing just how vibrant the vegan scene has become. Brisbane and the surrounding area are packed with exciting vegan businesses, from incredible Thai restaurants and bakeries to a fully vegan grocery store. Veganism is such a central part of who I am that I honestly cannot imagine living somewhere without a thriving compassionate community.
Just as I have been fortunate enough to play a small role in helping build community around veganism in the UK, I am excited to discover my place within Brisbane’s vegan scene.
Compassion has become one of the foundations of my self care. Looking after animals, supporting vegan businesses, and surrounding myself with kind people has shaped the person I have become. That is something I will carry with me wherever I live.
The countdown to my Australian return is officially on.
It feels like the right time.
I have a series of FGV events coming up in London including the aforementioned return of London Vegan Beer Fest. Click here to find out more and book tickets. You can also join my FGV email newsletter online here.
If you appreciate these blog posts and the work I do to support vegan business, please consider making a one time small donation of a couple of quid online here. You might also be in the position to sponsor my work on an regular basis via Patreon.
You can order my book ‘Fat Gay Vegan: Eat, Drink and Live Like You Give a Sh!t’ online now. It has been out a while now but is still a good read. You can also listen to the Audiobook read by me!
You can watch/stream my weekly podcast Tell Me Where I’m Going (Wrong) on YouTube, Apple Podcasts, and Spotify.
Follow me on Instagram, Threads, TikTok, Facebook, and Blue Sky.