Sit back, relax and enjoy a brief review of one restaurant I will probably never eat in again.
Josh and I were on our way to the West Midlands Vegan Festival when hunger struck. A bit of vegan keyword searching, followed by a touch of Google mapping, and we were standing inside a vegetarian restaurant located in the town of West Bromwich. The name of the establishment? Jalapeños.
We were overwhelmed by a huge menu board showing all manner of treats. Burgers, fries, nuggets, hot dogs and pizzas were all listed. Like any sensible vegan, I try to ascertain the plant-based options before I get too excited by a large number of items that might not be right for me. I assumed most things on the Jalapeños menu would be at least vegan adaptable as it is a vegetarian restaurant. But the staff didn’t know.
Neither the server nor the chef could enlighten me as to which items on their extensive menu were suitable or adaptable for a vegan diet. When pressed, they informed me they could only guarantee pizzas as vegan because they used Redwood products and the bases were vegan. When I asked about burgers and nuggets, the answer was the same. They weren’t sure.
Josh and I ordered pizzas and waited. When the first pizza showed up at our table, it didn’t look promising and I honestly don’t know how to describe how bad it was.
The dough wasn’t cooked all the way through so every bite was soggy, mushy and rather vile. Actually, I’m not going to put myself through the memory. Both pizzas were bordering on inedible and we disposed of them after offering them to friends who turned them down in disgust later in the evening.
The one positive that did come from the experience was the sighting of a new vegan mayo. With my favourite brand of vegan mayo disappearing recently, it is good to see another contender on the market. But of course I’m being a vile FGV in this review so it stands to reason that the product was a bit lacklustre. I couldn’t find any reference to this mayo online.
So if you want to eat a rather awful vegan pizza in a small West Midlands town, Jalapeños is the spot for you.
I would direct you to their website, but the link is broken. Suits me just fine as I would rather forget all about it.