Haus of FGV

LGBT friendly vegan river cruise

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Curated and hosted by vegan blogger, writer, and event planner Fat Gay Vegan (that’s me!), this Mekong cruise has been designed to be a relaxed, inclusive, and safe adventure for LGBT travellers as well as their friends and families.

As a gay person, I have often longed for an LGBT-friendly vegan vacation opportunity. I know what it is like to put a lot of effort into planning and paying for a holiday and I want to know that every part of my trip celebrates who I am. My partner and I want to feel safe and relaxed whether we are in our cabin, sharing cocktails in the bar, or dining together at night. Vegan Culinary Cruises helped me turn this dream into a reality for me and my LGBT community!

Even though our gorgeous Mekong adventure is focused on celebrating LGBT community members, the cruise is also welcoming to non-LGBT friends and family members. We have worked hard to create an experience in which everyone can celebrate our diverse communities.

Our luxury Mekong river cruise combines places rarely visited with opulent world heritage sites exploring the wonders and culture of Vietnam and Cambodia

With only 25 cabins, this luxury cruise is an exclusive adventure for only 50 guests. It is all inclusive and means the cruise, delicious vegan cuisine, open bar, tours and more!

Vegan Culinary Cruises Vietnam & Cambodia Mekong river cruise is one of the world’s most exotic and unforgettable journeys. Marvel at ancient temples, mist-covered mountains and colourful floating markets along the Mekong River as you travel by luxury river cruise through two of Southeast Asia’s most beautiful countries. Along the way, visit temples and monasteries, royal palaces and pagodas, rural villages and experience first-hand everyday life in this unique part of the world. This deluxe river cruise ship features delicious regionally-inspired vegan cuisine, spa treatments and a pool on the sun deck so our guests can return to luxury after each on shore adventure.

Our all-inclusive program includes delicious vegan cuisine, thought-provoking lectures, entertainment, and fabulous on-board programming, along with local tours at each locale we visit.

Picture yourself watching the river flow from the window of your cabin or one of the decks as it takes you to new places and reveals storybook landscapes as you relax in total comfort. The sublime ambiance and personal service aboard your Vegan Culinary Cruise ship creates an oasis of relaxation that is simply unexcelled. Each one of the bright, airy cabins has unrestricted views of the scenery through panoramic, glass windows with private balcony that spans the cabin’s width. Experience travel like you never have before with the sheer ease of river transport.

Details

Pricing from: US$5790 per person based on double occupancy
Dates: July 4, 2020 until July 11, 2020

We are offering a US$500 per person discount if you book your cabin before September 1, 2019.

There is also an optional Siem Reap Cambodia pre-tour available at additional cost.

Pre-tour

Day 1 – Thursday July 2 – Siem Reap – Arrive transfer to hotel
Day 2 – Friday July 3 – Siem Reap area tour
Day 3 – Saturday July 4 – Siem Reap morning area tour, afternoon transfer to ship at Kampong Cham

Cruise

Day 1 – Saturday July 4 –Afternoon transfer Siem Reap to ship at Kampong Cham
Day 2 – Sunday July 5 – Kampong Cham, Angkor Ban, Wat Hanchey – Cambodia
Day 3 – Monday July 6 – Kampong Tralach, Kampong Chhnang – Cambodia
Day 4 – Tuesday July 7 – Phnom Penh – Cambodia
Day 5 – Wednesday July 8 – Tan-Chau, My An Hung – Border crossing Vietnam
Day 6 – Thursday July 9 – Sa Dec, Binh Thanh Island – Vietnam
Day 7 – Friday July 10 –- Cai Be, My Tho – Vietnam
Day 8 – Saturday July 12: Ho Chi Min City / Saigon – Vietnam – Disembark

Get all the finer details of this incredible vegan, LGBT-friendly cruise along the Mekong online here.

You can also find out about future cruises like our south of France general vegan cruise next year. Follow Vegan Culinary Cruises on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter.

Understanding my privilege

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The following is an excerpt from my first book Fat Gay Vegan: Eat, Drink and Live Like You Give a Sh!t.

While I am sometimes marginalised and oppressed with regards to my sexuality and weight, I understand that I also live with extreme privilege because I am a white, cis- gendered and able-bodied man. It’s the white man part of me that gets a lot of people to listen to the fat and gay parts of me.

The modern world is designed to reward me for simply being me at the expense of people who are not me.

We need to know our own place in the world in order to be the most positive force we can be. So, with that in mind, let me start by exploring my understanding of my privilege for a short while before we move on to a plan of action. (Apologies. Plan of action is included in the book but not here)

I grew up in a poor family with a lot of abuse and sadness in a town where gay kids like me were routinely harassed by law enforcement and local homophobes, but I survived when many people around me didn’t.

Inequitable systems of oppression were in place to benefit me as a white man even while I was being targeted for my perceived sexuality. People around me who didn’t present as white men had safety and opportunity taken away or denied to them.

I left school at age fifteen and moved out of my family home. Even though I didn’t complete the most basic high school requirements, I was never out of employment from the moment I left the school gates for the final time.

Of course, a lot of that employment was dreadful and underpaid, but the point is that even as an uneducated young person I was employed for any position for which I applied and nobody can tell me my appearance wasn’t responsible. I was able to earn a desperately needed income for food and accommodation when a lot of people my age were discriminated against because of institutionalised racism embedded in Australian society.

An adult close to me sexually abused women in my family and these women have lived with the ongoing trauma of that abuse. As a young man, I was statistically less likely to be abused by this person and I wasn’t.

My teenage friends and I were searched by the police with alarming regularity during our often drunken nights wandering the streets of our hometown, however, indigenous Australian young people in the same predicament didn’t get off with just a warning or even with their lives in a lot of instances.

The worst thing to happen to my group of white friends was watching our cheap sparkling wine being poured down the storm water drain while the police laughed at us and ridiculed our clothing. We were not arrested, detained or physically assaulted thanks to our white skin and we were afforded privilege, consideration and relative physical safety during these acts of police surveillance. This was not the case for young people who didn’t look like us.

There is a story I think of quite often involving a young man in my hometown. He lived with a physical disability that resulted in him walking with a limp. I would smile at him as he passed by my workplace maybe once a week. We were the same age and we both recognised the other
as a queer teenager in a sad town where our kind was not celebrated. We both started going to the same gay bar as teenagers where we mixed with a lot of older people.

One terrible night, my hometown comrade was targeted by an older man who took him to a dark alley behind the gay bar and brutally bashed him until he was no longer alive. I found myself in countless compromised situations as a young gay man but I didn’t find myself targeted for living with a disability. To understand how people with disabilities are more often targets of violence, search for statistics in your local area and be prepared to be upset by what you find.

Following on from decades of dead end jobs, I secured a place at university to follow up on my interest and desire to become a schoolteacher. The four-year undergraduate degree culminated with a multi-month practical placement in a real classroom. I was the only person out of my group of friends offered a job by the school at the end of the practical teaching placement. I was also the only one of said group who was identifiable as a white man and I’m comfortable in saying that I was nowhere close to being the most accomplished or hard-working student teacher amongst my cohort.

I’m not reflecting on these memories to get a pat on the back for being progressively aware, I’m telling you because it is crucial for those of us living with and benefitting from privilege to understand that the animal rights movement is not separate to everything I’ve described above.

I have discovered that if I want to be a worthy activist for animals I must also learn to resist and challenge oppression in multiple forms within vegan circles. Vegan businesses, vegan activist groups, vegan socials, and vegan online spaces all operate within the same systemic framework of oppression that favours me in the ways I described above. If I am being rewarded, someone is being oppressed. That is how it works.

If you would like to read the follow up to this section, you can order my book from independent bookstores as well as online via WH Smith, Foyles, and Amazon. The book is also available via Audible for listening.

5 vegan entertainers and why I love them

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Music and movies have been a huge part of my life, much as I imagine they have been for most people reading.

Some of my earliest memories revolve around music. Radio was a huge part of my childhood in Australia and I soaked up everything I heard. Rock radio at the time made me more than familiar with Australian bands such as Cold Chisel, INXS, Divinyls, and Midnight Oil.

Movies have always moved me emotionally and worked as an escape from reality. As a teenager, I was obsessed with the films of Winona Ryder and loved sitting in the dark with a jumbo popcorn as she perfectly portrayed the eternal angst-ridden teen on the big screen.

Later in my life television underwent a cultural reawakening and as an adult looking to reflect on my existence from a more critical position, shows such as Six Feet Under had me thinking of life, death, and the universe.

The popular (and sometimes not so popular) culture I’ve accessed throughout my life has helped me survive and build a sense of self.

This lifelong connection and nurturing I’ve received from performers is made extra special when someone I admire turns out to be vegan.

When a song or a piece of art speaks to me clearly and distinctly, it is an added bonus to know that the performer has a compassionate approach to life.

Let’s check out five of my favourite entertainers and why I adore them.

Most ‘vegan celebrity’ lists are just that. Lists. I wanted to give you some personal insight into how these people reached me over the years with their creative output.

Alicia Silverstone

I was 21 years old when the classic teen comedy Clueless was unleashed on the world and it instantly became a staple amongst my circle of friends. Unforgettable quotes from the film were fused into our speech patterns until we almost couldn’t separate our real life interactions from the screenplay.

The role of Cher in Clueless was enough to make me adore Silverstone forever, however I still enjoy watching her pop up across my screen now and again.

I thoroughly enjoyed her brief stint in the title role of the short-lived sitcom Miss Match. I also delighted when I saw Silverstone pop up for a four-episode arc on the dramedy Suburgatory, opposite her clueless co-star Jeremey Sisto, and in a supporting role in the 2018 film Book Club.

Woody Harrelson

I was quite a young person when Woody Harrelson entered my consciousness.

Cheers was one of my favourite TV programs and Harrelson played the supposedly unintelligent yet loveable Woody Boyd. I didn’t have a happy home life and Cheers was one of my escapes, with Woody being a familiar and happy face for me.

Woody has ever since been a part of my pop culture landscape across many decades.

I cringed at yet loved his turn as a serial killer opposite Juliette Lewis in Natural Born Killers. I adored his starring role in Zombieland and am excited for the sequel coming soon. I even loved Woody in the Han Solo movie from 2018!

Tony Kanal

No Doubt have been one of the important musical forces in my life and co-founder, bassist, and songwriter Tony Kanal is one seriously cool dude.

I first met Kanal as a fan back in the 90s when No Doubt were in Australia on a promotional tour for their smash hit record Tragic Kingdom. I went on to see the band live numerous times around the globe including London, Brisbane, and Houston.

Tony later went on to form Dreamcar with Tom and Adrian from No Doubt, alongside Davey Havok of AFI fame, and released one of the most criminally-overlooked pop records of all time.

I recently got to say hello to Tony again in person this year as we were both attending the massive Eat Drink Vegan event in California. It was a warm moment and I cherished the chance to say g’day to one of my all time musical heroes.

Mayim Bialik

Mayim Bialik as been an influence in my life for a very long time and now that she is set to open a vegan restaurant in downtown Los Angeles, I’m certain she will be on my radar for a few more decades at least.

Mayim first entered my life thanks to her title role is the 90s sitcom Blossom. I adored the show and her personality. Bialik also starred as the younger version of the Bette Midler character in the big screen tearjerker Beaches and this was a HUGE film in my younger years.

I’ve always enjoyed Mayim’s on screen comedy timing in The Big Bang Theory when I’ve seen snippets on TV but I’ve never really warmed to the show overall due to its sexist and racist undertones.

Daryl Hannah

Daryl Hannah was such a huge movie star in the 80s. I watched so many of her film on VHS from the local Blockbuster including her turn as a mermaid in Splash with Tom Hanks.

I adored Hannah in Roxanne, Wall Street, and Steel Magnolias. These films were all on heavy rotation in my house.

Daryl Hannah has been one of the most active social justice and environmental activists when it comes to celebrities throwing their weight behind causes. She has even been arrested for putting her body on the line as a form of protest.

What do you think of my list? Who would you add?

A private message from FGV

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The following is a personal message I wrote to my Patreon supporters today to explain my recent absence from the site.

Patreon is a way for people to financially support the FGV platform and the work it does to champion independent vegan business, support human rights, and help improve outcomes for non-human animals.

If you would like to pledge a monthly amount to keep my blog and social media platforms alive, you can at my Patreon page.

Now for the letter…


Hello everyone.

This post is both an apology and an explanation.

I have been missing in action on Patreon for about half a year and I owe you an explanation.

The past six to eight months of my life have been some of the most difficult and I’ve only just come out the other side.

One of the biggest changes and challenges I faced was the end of my relationship with Josh. Actually, we are still best friends and we love and support each other unequivocally but the period of transformation where we changed our relationship to a friendship took a huge toll on me and my mental health.

I lived with extreme depression and found myself accessing weekly therapy here in Mexico City. My therapist was so very kind and helpful. I honestly don’t know what I would have done without the support.

Having been in such a co-dependent relationship for 20 years, I was just incapable of even the most mundane life tasks on my own. I lost track of how many times I would just lock myself in my room and cry. Minutes were hours and hours were days and days were weeks.

The whole emotional and mental struggle was one of the most gruelling fights of my life. I’m still living with depression daily but have a hold on it at the moment.

It was during this period when I also discovered that I was NOT living with a medical condition that it was thought I was living with for decades. This is an extremely convoluted story, very private, and almost unbelievable so expect to see me write more about it in the future. For now, all I can say is that the experience broke me down to nothing and I’ve been building myself back up from scratch.

It pushed me into a type of depression and mental breakdown that I had never believed would happen to me and it felt like I would never recover.

It was also tough to say goodbye to Hackney Downs Vegan Market and Vegan Beer Fest UK events during this time. Neither of these ventures were financially viable any longer but making the decision to end them all hit me hard.

They never made a lot of money but losing even that tiny amount of income triggered my anxiety and depression.

Having exited a 20 year relationship in which Josh and I cared for each other in all aspects including financial, I felt beyond vulnerable. I had no job security, no savings, and no future financial plans. I was scared and lonely. The thought of growing old with no money is not pleasant. I went from being 50% responsible for my rent, bills, and food expenses to 100% responsible and the change has been a big adjustment.

All I could manage was to keep my blog alive in order to help independent vegan businesses and manage the FGV section of the weekly Venn Street Market for a small amount of income and to support those traders. I also had my monthly Vegan Life Magazine column to write each month.

I physically and mentally couldn’t keep up with anything else, and sadly that meant Patreon postings.

I loved giving weekly news updates and sharing content on here, but when there were weeks I couldn’t get out of bed that meant that some things got lost.

I’m am forever grateful for the support you have all given me on here. It makes me emotional to know you have stayed by my side when you had no idea why I wasn’t sharing content.

The money from your pledges has kept my head above water during the darkest times of my life and you have been a huge part in keeping the FGV platform alive.

I still get a thrill out of helping promote independent vegan businesses and the blog and social media platforms do make a huge impact. It is your support that has allowed me to keep all of this alive during my breakdown.

And I’m still here.

I’m still blogging all the time. I’m still promoting my events and events run by others. I’m still answering reader questions every day.

I’m still FGV and I’m still fighting for human and non-human animals.

Going forward, I need to make some changes to how this Patreon platform rewards you for your support. I’d love to know what you would like to see in return for your pledge. Feel free to respond here or send me a private message.

My idea is to keep the blog and the market running (your support helps with this) but also start sharing more personal writing on here. This would include vegan and non-vegan specific topics.

I never went away but I’m back here in a big way… and I couldn’t have done it without you.

I have exciting plans for the future and it would mean a lot to me for you to be by my side. A second and third book are being planned, while next year sees me taking on a huge adventure by curating a vegan cruise for LGBT people and their friends/family.

I am helping launch vegan events in Mexico City and have just curated an FGV food section for the Mighty Hoopla and Cross The Tracks festivals in London. It is still full steam ahead!

I have a new boyfriend in my life who has been the most wonderful support I could have hoped for. Gil is kind and loving and handsome. He has come into my life at the perfect time and means the world to me. My friends have also stayed in touch to make sure I was still surviving and I’ll never forget their love and support.

I know it is all a lot to take in so I’ll leave it there and hope to hear from you all soon.

Lots of love.

Sean/FGV

Vegan food and pop music

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I reported a few days ago that I’ve curated a vegan food area for two MASSIVE London music festivals next month.

You can eat your fill AND dance your cares away at the pop extravaganza that is Mighty Hoopla on Saturday June 8 and the jazz, funk, and soul explosion Cross The Tracks on Sunday June 9, 2019.

The vegan food line up is SENSATIONAL and you can read all about it online here. You can party along to some of the best music on the planet and never run out of vegan food choices.

It sounds like heaven and we have some of the finest food makers in the biz.

To celebrate my love of pop music and the inclusion of the FGV section at both events, I’ve curated a special Spotify playlist featuring my favourite songs by artists on the Mighty Hoopla line up.

You all know I’m a complete pop fanatic, right?

Have fun listening and be sure to grab your tickets before they sell out!

Mighty Hoopla online. Cross The Tracks online.

Vegans: don’t use language that doesn’t belong to you

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This is an exclusive excerpt from my book Fat Gay Vegan: Eat, Drink and Live Like You Give a Sh!t. Published by Nourish.

An important exercise in flexing your compassion has to do with respecting language that doesn’t belong to you or to veganism.

One sure fire way to NOT be the kindest and most compassionate vegan you can is to appropriate the language and imagery of oppressive struggles as a way to draw attention to the animal rights movement.

Many activists find themselves comparing industrialised farming to slavery or the Holocaust. It is alluring to reach for something so undeniable in its horror, renown and infamy to conjure emotion and grab attention but what you are also doing is minimising the reality of what people went through and are still living through today.

Industrialised farming has enough of its own atrocities that can be explained in clear language attributable to that distinct situation. There is no need to use language that does not belong to the vegan movement.

Historical and current references related to slavery, genocide and sexual violence against humans are not ours to use as we please. It is harmful and disrespectful to do so.

If you would like to get hold of a copy of this book, you can order online via Amazon.

If you are in the UK, you can order online via The Hive. This is a great way to support your local independent retailers as your order will be fulfilled by a high street store.

You can also buy directly from independent vegan businesses such as What The Pitta in Brighton, Essential Vegan in Shoreditch, and Ms Cupcake in Brixton.

You can also buy online from Foyles and WH Smith.

My childhood memories of animals

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This is an exclusive excerpt from my book Fat Gay Vegan: Eat, Drink and Live Like You Give a Sh!t. Published by Nourish.

My auntie Jackie once took me to the circus and you had better believe me when I say the animals outnumbered the humans. I lost track of the number of creatures forced to jump through flaming hoops, walk on wires or drive tiny motor vehicles.

I had grown a lot taller than other children my age by the time my circus trip was foisted upon me and the donkey assigned to carry me around the ring did not look pleased with the prospect. My brown-corduroy adorned legs dragged in the dirt as the hot lights beat down and depraved-looking clowns smirked at the tall kid on the sad donkey. I’m fairly certain that was my final experience at any form of circus, but I think more due to the mortification and shame felt by me rather than concern for animal welfare.

Christmas in my hometown was always brutal. First of all, it was always sweltering hot and furthermore we had the joy of sitting around with relatives ranging from mildly to wildly racist. Animals featured heavily Christmas day, from the pig-now-called-ham wrapped in a water- soaked pillow case to keep it fresh to the family dog sitting under the table hoping for scraps. Prawns, crabs, chickens and turkeys who used to all be alive at some point were scattered around the buffet in order for me and the people I didn’t like all that much to experience festive cheer.

So, animals were absolutely everywhere in my life as a child in Australia, but I honestly didn’t give them much more thought than what I have described above. Not one adult explained to me the difference between prawns on the table and the dog under it. Understanding how animals lived and died was not my concern. I was socialised into thinking animals were available to eat, wear and prod with sticks unquestionably.

That’s what I think I have in common with a lot of you turning these pages right this moment.

Reflect for a moment on just how much animals were used in your young life, but how little thought was given to the how, what, when and why. Did adults and people responsible for your emotional growth explain the process of factory farm to dining table? The shark took a chunk from the turtle (another story from this chapter) just as I watched crabs being boiled alive in my kitchen at Christmas time, but they were all just ‘things’ in my mind. Objects. Just like the pine cones and the cliffs and the polished glass fragments at the seaside.

I didn’t understand that these animals were capable of fear and pain because nobody told me, and I would bet my last block of tofu they didn’t tell you either.

If you would like to get hold of a copy of this book, you can order online via Amazon.

If you are in the UK, you can order online via The Hive. This is a great way to support your local independent retailers as your order will be fulfilled by a high street store.

You can also buy directly from independent vegan businesses such as What The Pitta in Brighton, Essential Vegan in Shoreditch, and Ms Cupcake in Brixton.

You can also buy online from Foyles and WH Smith.

Vegan fashion police

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This article was originally written by me for Vegan Life Magazine. My column appears each month and you can find out about subscribing online here.

When faced with penning this column, I was slightly unsure of what I could say on the subject of vegan fashion. I’m not celebrated for my sense of style and I’ve been known to wear the same second-hand jeans for a decade.

But after a bit of reflection it became clear.

Fashion shouldn’t simply be about what it does for us personally. In addition to helping us get through the day and making us feel stylish, we need to consider what fashion does to animals and the planet.

There are many reasons why people decide against buying and wearing footwear, clothing, and accessories made from animals.

Of course the number one driver when it comes to dressing vegan is a desire to not contribute to animal suffering. For as long as there have been people not wanting to exploit animals, there have been attempts at dressing more kindly.

There are obvious materials to avoid when you start dressing with compassion such as leather and fur, but it sometimes takes a bit more convincing when it comes to wool. Even though they are not killed directly for their wool, sheep experience ongoing hardship such as exposure to extreme heat and cold while the practice of muelsing sees chunks of flesh being cut from them while alive and awake.

Pleather shoes, plastic skirts, acrylic cardigans, and PVC jackets started to find a following with compassionate fashionistas after initially launching as inexpensive alternatives. Just like we have accidentally vegan food, we have a lot of vegan-friendly fabrics that just happen to be that way.

There was a huge surge in the popularity of leather and fur alternatives in the 1980s and 90s as many celebrities took the cause to heart. Perhaps you remember anti-fur advertisements such as the series featuring rock band The Go-Gos brandishing the slogan ‘We’d rather Go-Go naked than wear fur’?

Purposively-vegan fashion brands started to emerge around this time including Vegetarian Shoes which commenced operations almost 30 years ago and Ethical Wares which came to be around 1993.

More recent high profile footwear and fashion brands include Will’s Vegan Shoes from London and VAUTE fashion label of New York City.

An important part of shopping for vegan fashion is understanding that not all animal-free materials are good for the planet or the people handling them.

Of course the fallout from leather is atrocious as it needs to be drenched in chemicals to stop it decomposing (a reminder that leather is dead animals!) and these chemicals are washed off into waterways therefore creating immeasurable environmental damage, however some alternatives can do their share of long-lasting harm as well. PVC has been used as a leather alternative for decades but we don’t currently have records to show how long this material takes to break down.

But where there is a problem, there is a more vegan-friendly solution.
Lefrik is an all-vegan bag and accessories fashion label using recycled plastic bottles to create fabric. The use of recycled PET fabric from plastic bottles saves 90% of water consumption and has a 75% lower carbon footprint than regular polyester. This fashion initiative is helping to keep plastic waste from landfills and oceans, as well as lessen CO2 emissions.

Other animal-friendly materials finding a home in the world of fashion include hemp, bamboo, pineapple fibre and cork. Many inventive designers are also repurposing and up-cycling vintage fabrics to help lessen the demand for animal skins and furs.

Steve Madden and Skechers now allow customers to search their online footwear catalogues using the ‘vegan’ category, while Reebok is going a step further to create a shoe made from organic cotton uppers and rubbery soles concocted from milled corn.

This mainstreaming of ethical and vegan products has been powered by compassionate fashion pioneers such as Angela Corcoran and James Beal of London ethical boutique and shoe store, The Third Estate.

Angela and James sell ethical vegan fashion to compassionate shoppers all over the planet via their online store and are a treasured local business with their shop front in North London.

I approached the duo to find out what advice they have for people looking to make better fashion choices for animals, workers, and the environment and they were both adamant when saying that there is no such thing as an inexpensive ethical product. If consumers are not paying very much for something, someone else is paying in other ways. A pair of shoes might be animal free, but if they are low-priced that undoubtedly means workers are being paid poorly.

The Third Estate is on the frontline of tackling all of the ethical dilemmas thrown up by fashion. The business promotes labels that put animals, workers, and the planet at the centre of all they do by using animal alternatives, paying fair wages, and working to strict environmental guidelines.

Angela reminded me of that old adage that less is more when it comes to fashion, but maybe in a different sense than the quote was first intended.

She said, “We should buy less fashion and we should think carefully about what we do buy. We can look fabulous and make kinder choices for animals, factory workers, and the planet at the same time.”

Sounds perfect to me. Kinder choices will never go out of style.

Waiter, there is a pork chop in my soup

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This post was originally written for, and published, in the November 2018 issue of Vegan Life Magazine. You can subscribe to the magazine online here.

Waiter, there is a pork chop in my soup!

As colder weather creeps in and daylight hours shorten (well, for some readers!), one of the most versatile food types regains popularity and springs to life on menus everywhere.

Yes. It’s time to say hello to soup again.

Soup might not seem like a dynamic topic and I’m imagining a few fingers twitching as you all decide if you should skip my column this month, but I promise that I have a silly soup story from my past that will entertain you.

Strangely, it involves pork chops and it serves as study of what we vegans sometimes have to deal with when we live in a non-vegan household.

Let’s take a trip back in time to the 90s when I was a meat-free shop assistant living my pre-Fat Gay Vegan life in Australia, listening to Alanis Morissette and Take That. Circumstance had me house-sharing with a couple who were loud and proud carnivores, meaning I stayed out of the kitchen around meal time.

One blustery Sydney evening found me stumbling into the kitchen to find my housemates cooking up a huge simmering pot of pumpkin soup. My nostrils flared and my tummy rumbled as I was asked if I would like a bowl.

I leapt at the offer.

I was busy pulling open cupboards to grab the utensils I needed when I noticed the most peculiar thing happening. The cook was reaching into the soup with a pair of metal tongs to retrieve two pork chops!

Why were there pork chops in the pumpkin soup?! My mouth dropped open and I must have looked incredulous because the chop-wielding chef told me that there was nothing to worry about. The meat had previously been cooked and they were only using the hot soup to reheat it.

I fled the kitchen and hid in my room for a few hours, shaken by the experience. The story actually makes me laugh when I tell it now, but at the time I was horrified!

If you put my pork chop debacle to one side, soup can actually be one of the dishes to unite vegans and non-vegans and is one of the easiest foods to veganise.

So, let’s have a brief chat about vegan soup and how it can please everyone.

Soup is the perfect food for single vegans. It can be thrown together with whatever you have available, you can season it to match your tastes exactly, and leftovers can be frozen for another meal on another day. There is no such thing as making too much soup!

If you are a big soup fan and you like to experiment in the kitchen, you can be inspired by soup recipes from all over the planet. Carry out a quick Internet search for Mexican black bean soup or the legendary borscht from Russia. You don’t have to be limited to tomato and spring vegetable (not there is anything wrong with them!).

A quality soup is also the perfect vegan stealth move. Take your signature vegan soup to parties, potlucks, and family gatherings and if it tastes amazing, nobody will bat an eyelid. Soup can be veganised easily and I’ve witnessed many plant-based soups be the favourite dish on the table.

Even though we associate soup with colder months, we need to be aware that it isn’t just a winter time concern.

If you are in a part of the world where the weather is warm right now, start to explore the wonder of chilled soups. The aforementioned borscht is a delicacy when served cold, as are gazpacho or the marvelous naengmyeon noodle soup from Korea. I even once enjoyed a chilled watermelon soup in an Indian restaurant in Barcelona.

One of my favourite qualities of soup is that it can be an extremely economical choice. If you can afford some beans and vegetables, plus a decent vegan stock powder, you have got yourself a nutritious plant-based meal that won’t break the bank.

I really am in love with soups all over again. They are cheap, tasty, versatile, and a great way to please all types of eaters. Soups are the food bridge across the vegan/non-vegan divide (and let’s not forget how easily they can be made gluten free).

Just remember to check for pork chops if you are ever offered a bowl in someone else’s kitchen!

FGV personal story

by

I don’t just write about vegan overeating.

I sometimes write about broader themes and subjects. Today finds me doing just that.

Please note that this blog post contains references to sexual abuse.

Why do abuse survivors take so long to come forward?
Why do they change their story?
Doesn’t this mean they can’t be trusted?

I was abused. My father beat me. Laughed at me. Ridiculed me. All from the age of… well, my earliest memory of my father is him calling me cruel names. He terrorised my siblings. He withheld food. He dished out corporal punishment with wooden spoons. Cords of electrical appliances. Fishing rods. He beat my stepmother. He punched her in her face, with all his strength, in front of me. He made us lie to relatives. Friends. Family. This continued until I was old enough not to return. Maybe 14 years old.

In my other main dwelling, there was sexual abuse. I was instructed to lie about it. I was told by my mother that I had to make a choice whether we allowed the abuser to stay living with us. I was told if I asked him to leave, we would be forced to return to living in a tent on the beach which my mother and I had done for many years due to poverty. I was maybe 11 or 12 when this choice was asked of me. I was forced to visit my violent biological father every second weekend even though I protested that he beat me, but I was also asked to not tell him about the sexual abuser in my other home in order to not get that man into trouble.

My school insisted my parents take me to see a child mental health specialist to help determine why my grades were failing so drastically and why I would rather go drinking with older people than attend school regularly. I wasn’t even 15. Maybe even just 14 at best. My parents told me to lie to the mental health professionals and not disclose my knowledge of the sexual abuse in our house. They told me if I did, I would be responsible for our family being torn apart, for the abuser going to prison.

I left school on my 15th birthday, moved out of home, and starting working full-time to support myself. I was an easy target for older men in my local area. I desperately wanted validation from adults as all of my parents had failed me, so I would go with older men for sex. I was coerced into unsafe sexual situations, sometimes with groups of men aged in their 40, 50s, and 60s. I was sexually assaulted. I was physically assaulted by gay and straight identifying men for being too much of a ‘faggot’. I was drinking entire bottles of hard spirits or cheap wine multiple times a week as a form of self medication.

Everything you have just read happened to me before I was even 18 years old. I am now 44 years old and only discovering the strength to talk publicly about this. Yes, I covered for abusers. No, I didn’t report being sexually assaulted to police. For decades.

The sense of responsibility, shame, and self loathing I have lived with has been overwhelming. It has shaped my life in ways you cannot imagine. Or sadly, maybe if you are a survivor you can imagine. I learned to hide all personal matters as though they were dirty secrets that would get me in trouble. I thought of myself as undeserving of basic daily care and longterm medical treatment. I trained myself to work hard to protect other people and animals as an antidote for not practising self care at all.

The compounded trauma of what I have lived through is the reason why my story changed over the years. And why I ‘lied’ about not being abused. And why I ‘failed’ to report my own sexual assault to police. But now I am telling the truth.

It has just taken an extremely long time to find the strength and the words. Be kind to people who have found the strength to speak about their own survival. It is often the most difficult thing a person will have to do in their life.