LHR-Foodswings-LAX

My regular readers will be aware of a story category I use on here known as Taking the long way around. The bulk of my stories deal with London-based tales of depravity, over-consumption and brief queer history, however I do venture further afield and I love to bring you the details of these adventures and misadventures too.

With that overly-verbose introduction out of the way, I want to tell you how a vegan eatery named Foodswings saved my life during a journey from London to LA.

The flight from London Heathrow to JFK takes approximately 7 hours. Add to that the time you are required to check in prior to an international flight and that rapidly amounts to 10 hours. This might not seem like a long time to some people to go without a solid meal, but this FGV eats well several times a day. My charming airline apparently didn’t get this memo as I was left with nothing but a bowl of salad leaves after they failed to produce my pre-ordered vegan meal.

I stood trembling from low blood sugar in the arrivals terminal in NYC as my brain weighed up the pros and cons of a devilish plan it was devising. The pros won out.

My flight to Los Angeles was scheduled for 6 hours in the future and I was a hungry person. So hungry that I decided to take a risk on temperamental NYC public transport and catch the subway to Williamsburg so I could eat at one of my favourite vegan restaurants.

This trip was no easy feat and I lived in constant terror that I would miss my connecting flight to LA. I rode the air train to Jamaica station, swapped to the J for 13 stations and then slid across to the L train for a further 12 stations. By the time I got to Bedford Ave in Brooklyn, I was starving. I scurried through the streets, bowling over hipsters as my portly frame barreled along in the direction of food.

I had to ask for directions at one point and it should come as no surprise that the person I asked not only knew where Foodswings was located, but also recommended another vegan restaurant he just happened to be heading to. Only in New York!

I gave my apologies for not joining him and rounded the final corner to Foodswings. I strode into the store front like my life depended on it and ordered up a feast. Everything on their menu is 100% vegan so the hard part was whittling it down to a manageable amount. Remember, I still had a flight to catch.

I placed an order for a cookies & cream shake, cheese fries, buffalo wings and a sausage sandwich. I’m not a religious FGV, but I pray they didn’t have the CCTV trained on me as the food was put in front of me. I tore at it like a wild beast.They could have sold the footage of me eating to one of those exploitative FOX wild animal specials.

After thanking a bemused staff for saving my life, I walked as quickly as my distended stomach would allow back to the subway to retrace my journey to the airport. Did I make my flight? Yes, but there is always a kick in the trousers.

My flight from JFK to LAX ended up being delayed 3 and a half hours, most of which I spent on the aircraft due to the authorities insisting we board even without any hope of taking off. Add all the time together and you’ll find my journey from London to Los Angeles consumed just about 1 full day of my life.

If Foodswings hadn’t been within reach, I might not be here to tell this tale. Please visit them as soon as possible and thank them for doing their part in ensuring this FGV lived to eat another day.

Foodswings, 295 Grand Street, NY 11211-4406      PH: 718 388 1919

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