Shake, baby shake
A fat, gay vegan must work hard at a couple of things to qualify as a fat, gay vegan. Obviously, you have to be same-sex attracted in order to fill the gay requirements. If you want to call yourself vegan, don’t eat or wear non-human animals. To stay on top of the fat moniker, consume as many gourmet milkshakes as humanly possible.
This blog entry is a thank you to Shakeaway for assisting this FGV to stay worthy of the name.
During a brief Spring sojourn to the seaside town of Hastings a few months ago, I had the good fortune of becoming familiar with the local outlet of milkshake chain Shakeaway. This company touts itself as the world’s largest milkshake bar company (that term is even trademarked!) and outlets are franchised far and wide. I believe they have close to 40 stores across the UK and 1 in Abu Dhabi. Yes, you read correctly. But I didn’t have to travel to the UAE for a shake.
The Hastings outlet is bright and welcoming. Its position in the centre of the shopping district means it is usually busy. During both of my visits, the store was crammed with what looked like more than 20 people. But they weren’t all there for the cruelty-free offerings so if watching people guzzle litres of cow milk is not your thing while you wait for a soy version, maybe you should stay away instead of Shakeaway.
My shake was delicious and we will get to that in a moment. I would like to cover two points before I describe the beverage.
I love how all of the vegan options are labeled clearly. Zuma chocolate powder is served straight from the tub and separate blenders are used solely for the vegan milkshakes. Every care is taken by the friendly staff to avoid cross-contamination and all of the vegan toppings and add-ons are marked on the menu.
The second point I would like to address is the price. While I understand how vegan ingredients can drive costs up, I honestly think Shakeaway might be verging into overcharging territory. A large shake costs £3.80… reasonable enough, yes? Oh, but hang on. If you want to veganize it with soy milk and ice cream, you need to add an extra £1.49. I am a fat, gay vegan so of course I needed a topping. I went with Bourbon biscuit flavour which every vegan knows are the cheapest and most-likely to be cruelty-free cookies in the UK. You can usually buy an entire packet of these delights for well under 50p, but Shakeaway charged me 80p just to add a few to my drink.
The combination of my choice brought the total cost to £6.09. I am used to paying a little bit more but this struck me as completely excessive. Shakeaholic was a better deal in my eyes.
Moaning aside, my chocolate-bourbon biscuit creation was one of the best drinks I have ever had. It was thick, rich and over the top. If I ever find myself at Hastings Shakeaway again with £6.09 burning a hole in my pocket, I would definitely be tempted to indulge again.
Shakeaway Hastings are on Twitter or can be found at the address below:
9 York Buildings