CONTENT WARNING: This blog post contains racist and homophobic language.
15 years.
That is how long I have been tapping away at this blog as Fat Gay Vegan. I am now entering my 16th year of championing independent businesses and animal charities and I’m getting closer to having been FGV for two decades… and that feels hugely rewarding.
And sometimes it is exhausting.
People often assume that running a blog and social channels is just posting photos of food and tagging brands. They do not see the hours of emails, the decisions about who to platform, the refusal of opportunities that do not sit right even if they would make me a little less poor. It is a lot of emotional labour to have a voice online so relentlessly over more than a decade.
Sometimes I even get sick of my own sanctimonious tone!
As I move into my 16th year of writing here, I can honestly say that truly serious episodes of online abuse have been relatively rare. General criticism happens more often and I’ve accepted that’s part of being visible. Being threatened in person has happened only once, as far as I can recall. That is once too many, but still, once in 16 years isn’t a terrible result.
Mostly I keep all of this to myself but this week I was prompted to write because of an abusive direct message on Instagram.
Apparently an article I wrote years ago for Plant Based News is used at a college in Germany as part of its English programme. I have no idea how or why it was selected. Over the years I have received a handful of thoughtful messages from students telling me they enjoyed studying it. That has always felt quite lovely.
This week I received this instead:
“Fuck YOU and your Blogs I had to write an exam in English about your blog i hope u get fucked in the ass by a big black dick I hope your children’s won’t get the same illness as you, go and stuff some more dicks into your mouth u piece of shit
Go 2-3 year Dagestan
And tell what parents did wrong for you to come out like this”
I am not sharing this for shock value, nor am I sharing it for sympathy. I am sharing it because I want to not always carry the burden of this abuse on my own.
Also this week, I was publicly called an antisemite after sharing that I do not want to support brands that materially support the IDF.
Criticism I can handle and debate I welcome. After all, disagreement is part of existing in public. However, abuse and dehumanisation are something else and it affects me differently.
I am not naive. I know that writing this will not convince anyone who feels compelled to send messages like that to stop. I know that putting myself online invites reaction but I’ll continue to take the risk because I believe in celebrating independent businesses and building a vibrant vegan community.
But sometimes I internalise the ugliness which doesn’t feel good for me. This week I don’t want to do that.
So this is me putting it down in a simple blog post.
I am still here. I am still committed to doing this work with goodwill. I am still going to shout about the brilliant independent traders and charities that deserve attention. And I am still going to try my best to do it in a way that aligns with my ethics.
Yay for animals. Boo to online trolls and abusers.
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What a deeply horrible message for someone to send. Judging by their poor English, they failed at their exam and, judging by their unpleasant sentiment they are failing at being a decent human being.
I am not offended by the level of English but the sentiment is quite troubling!
Thank you for your continued work for veganism, you are an inspiration to many. Don’t every internalise badly written hate messages from young people who will likely grow up to regret their choices too. Every single bit of vegan activism is a seed planted for a better future. Love Sam at Dash Vegan x
Thank you
With global reach (Dagestan? Er?) comes abuse in bad English, it may be one of those cases in which it could be a sign that it’s eclipsed by something much better. 🙂
Obviously don’t want you to get any abuse, but as long as the positive messages outnumber the negative ones, which I assume they do, you’re evidently doing something right.
There is also that old adage that people are generally silently positive much more than they are audibly negative.
The only problem with all of the above comes if something goes ‘viral’, because then the level of messages can become properly overwhelming.
Your writing continues to shine a bright light in a lovely corner of the Internet.
Thanks Oliver
Dear Sean, you are such a lovely soul and your blog and events bring people together, bring a lot of joy and also some eye opening. It’s so valuable and you are too, just simply as you are. I honestly think people are often in a lot of pain when they react so viscously, or are very brainwashed to be afraid to the point of anger about homosexuality. It does not, by any means, justify such awful behaviour, and I’m so very sorry you’ve received such a nasty and vile DM, but that way of looking at it has helped me to feel compassion for my past bullies in my life and create a mental/emotional distance from me and what that other person is trying to throw at me. In other words that’s a them problem, it’s not mine. Easier said than done though! I definitely appreciate that. Nonetheless, often we just can’t control what’s going to come our way, we can only find ways to cope with it, process it and heal from it. Ultimately the world only gets better when systems improve at the highest level to provide, protect & preserve queer human rights, tackle homophobia & transphobia effectively, and when people like that person who sent such a cruel DM to you, start to have some awareness of their impact on others and seek help, make amends. I sincerely hope that that person does work through their stuff one day, and I hope that you’re okay as well. You don’t deserve having that thrown at you. You deserve to exist safely as a queer person.
We stand together against hate.
Thank you for taking the time to write such kind thoughts
What an ignorant plonka. I don’t have much more energy to give this type of behaviour.
Dear FGV,
Your writing continues to be inspiring and uplifting and it is a joy to read your reports on all the wonderful work being done to bring plant-based options into our lives.
The online abuse you reported is truly feeble-minded, repugnant and sickening.
I just wanted to post a comment, to add my voice, to let you know that you are not alone.
With best wishes and in solidarity,
Adam
Thanks for the kind words