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Have a go

I know I play the jolly food fool on this blog, but I do admit at times being upset by interactions I have with strangers online and in real life. Being a fat, gay vegan isn’t all crispy fake chicken and belly laughs.

Today I received a string a Tweets from a person asking why I don’t post photos of ‘real’ food and why everything I eat is processed.

I responded to these requests with a simple question of my own: Why do you want to know?

Typical of these sorts of interactions, my question was met with a nasty retort. I was told that I am not the sort of vegan this person wanted to follow. The gay part of FGV had interested them but the processed nature of my diet was a real turn off for them.

I thanked them for taking the time to judge me.

I’m sure it is as clear to you as it was to me. This person was not actually interested in finding out why I eat the way I do, they wanted to try and make me feel bad and ashamed for it.

Well, if they are reading:

The reasons for the way I eat are complex. My eating is the sum of decades of socialisation, emotional upheaval, happiness, media manipulation, body shaming, guilt, cultural experiences, joy, sorrow, privilege, discrimination, economic factors, family input, ethical concerns, poverty, personal preference and strangers projecting negativity in real life or via social media.

Now that is out of the way, here’s a little something else I want to get off my chest.

I do not welcome or seek input, advice or comment from strangers regarding what I eat or my body size, just as I would never write to a person I don’t know with similar advice.

My body and my food choices are for me to judge and manage. My platform as Fat Gay Vegan is not an invitation for you to personally critique me. If you don’t know me on an intimate level, don’t presume I want to hear your opinion on what I put in my body. I really don’t and I find your intrusions upsetting and at times very fucking distressing.

If your intent is to knowingly try and shame me for who and what I currently am, or how I identify, kindly fuck off.

Even from a young age, all I thought about was cake

Even from a young age, all I thought about was cake

Written by fatgayvegan

  1. Well said!!! X

  2. Amen brother! Oh and you are beautiful 🙂 x

  3. Like….a lot. Xxx

  4. Bravo!! Excellently put, indeed! Idiots all around us, and yet we are made to feel badly. Your response was wonderful and brilliant. I for one adore you!! Love and lots of appreciation…..Carol

  5. Well said. If they have the time to care what people they don’t even know eat then they are very sad and insecure individuals.

  6. You are inspirational.

  7. Great post. Have been an extremely fussy eater (problems mostly with texture) all my life and find a lot of the food that many other vegans eat as very intimidating so am often reluctant to eat in vegan places (although I do try everything and am working hard on dealing with it). So I find ways of adapting food I used to eat and work on sneaking things in to get nutrients. I still love vegan-friendly junk food and people can be very judgemental about it. It’s sustainable for me and makes it accessible.

    I was just asked for input in a vegan menu and the only advice I could give was ‘please don’t assume we’re all calorie counting, when I’m eating out I like a bit of indulgence too!’

    Love reading your posts and it’s always great to see somebody doing something different 🙂

  8. Hi Sean, there are so many faceless critics out there, who are most likely very unhappy souls. I get the same kind of abuse and I just delete it, it is not worth your lovely time, you do a great job in sharing your adventures, and I love hearing about and trying out your latest finds. Keep up the good work and ignore those crazy fools xx Maggie @ veggies.uk

  9. Good on ya, Sean

  10. Very well said. People become very brave on faceless social media and feel able to say what they like to whom they like. They say things they would never dare say to someone’s face. I think you are great, don’t take any notice of these morons. Their lives must be very sad and boring. Keep doing and eating what you want!!! X

  11. I would say they are projecting their own issues onto you. Making you feel shame perhaps takes the burden of their own shame off themselves – such a wrong way of going about it!!! You’re awesome. And you’re Aussie!! Can’t get much better than that 🙂 haha

  12. FGV, well said.

  13. People should not shame you.

    However, when you run a food blog ad you call it what you call it you are indeed inviting the entre world to have an opinion of the food you cover, your body, your sexuality, and your vegan lifestyle. If you don’t want people who don’t know you privately to have opinions about these things, then you don’t actively seek to make these things public.

  14. Well said

  15. To Hell with them and their criticism. What I eat depends upon my physical ability to prepare food – if I’m too unwell then I want quick and easy which usually means processed food. If I’m able to spend time I cook fresh and when I do it’s frequently one portion for me and several for the freezer if it’s a freezable dish. We get enough criticism as vegans from carnivores without getting stick from other vegans. As the saying goes – a little bit of what you fancy does you good.

  16. Lol. It makes me laugh that people will follow something they don’t like reading! Hilarious. Stupid. Idiot. Only your business what you eat or what you want to look like. Ignore. The world is full of wankers x

  17. Well said! Eat whatever the hell you want, as long as you are happy with what you’re eating/your body then you’re all good!

  18. Don’t let the b@@stards grind you down . When I met you at the drinks on Thursday you looked healthy and more importantly happy

  19. Sean I’m so sorry to hear about this. Body shaming is already recognised as a major issue, but food shaming hasn’t really been singled out yet, and from what I can tell it affects everyone from those who eat “healthily” to those who eat “less healthily”. It’s frustrating and worrying, and frankly quite ludicrous that somebody feels the need to attack you when there is no shortage of “healthy” vegan food blogs out there. I hope you’re OK.

  20. well said! good attitude. you have my support!

  21. Great retort…and pic. I too, like cake. ♥

  22. The most inspirational person I know and reason why I continue the struggle to be vegan is Ms Cupcake. I first came across her wares at a vegfest in Brighton a couple years ago and found vegan heaven. That’s when I knew I could give it a go. Thank heavens Montezumas & Willie’s Cacoa make so much yummy vegan chocolate too! Not a day goes past when I don’t consume either. I’m lucky, no-one I know has questioned why I eat the way I do or has given me any grief for it. I’m the only vegan I know so your blog is a great source of vegan eating & snacking for me. I’ve got a phone list on the go for recommended products to find & try : ) Thanks for contributing to the fun i’m having as I as I get closer to grips with vegan living.

  23. As always, I completely agree with you.

    The problem with blogging vegan is, that the loudest vegans online come from the health and fitness fanatic corner of vegan activism. Those people where the reason for me to start blogging about vegan food in the first place – to show vegan curious people who are not borderline anorexic that they can be vegan, too, without having to turn into an anti-pleasure puritan. I keep the vegan puritans away with a ‘No diet talk’ badge on the blog (courtesy of definatalie.com http://www.definatalie.com/2011/11/18/no-diet-talk-a-badge-for-your-blog/) and a ‘No diet talk’ – line in my twitter bio. I answer occasional unwanted advice to cook ‘healthier’ with a hint to my ‘No diet talk’-policy and a link to the militant baker (http://www.themilitantbaker.com/2013/01/what-fuck-does-no-diet-talk-mean.html) to explain to them what ‘No diet talk’ actually means. If they still don’t shut up, I block them.

    Aside from that, I’d never explain myself to those people. Neither should you, you’re too fabulous for that and we love you the way you are! :*

  24. F*@k them. Having had the pleasure of meeting you, they are so wrong.

  25. There are zillion vegan health food blogs – why should people follow this one if their not interested? Stick to what you do best and move on!

  26. Love you x

  27. Hi!
    Can I marry you ?
    I am just jealous that you actually have tens of people sending you supportive comments. Most of the time in these situations you’re just on your own. A few times when I was living in London I was just like… who can I speak to ?

  28. […] it too, under a thin veil of trying to promote widespread health. Sean of Fat Gay Vegan told of a ludicrous virtual encounter in which a follower expressed their disregard for his diet because they expected a vegan blogger […]

  29. Sean,
    You have always been true to yourself .A loving and caring being, which is reflected in your life choices. Stay as you are and let the fools go their own way. There is no need to explain yourself to anyone.

  30. I cannot stand Vegans who criticise what other vegans eat….. I don’t live on top of a hill growing my own food whilst washing my hair in spring water, I have to feed 4 other people and need stuff that’s quick and great meat substitutes cos I won’t buy or cook any animal produce but I need to satisfy 3 vegetarian daughters and a husband who is completely vegetarian at home. I serve them vegan processed food because it suits my life style and allows me to spend my money on vegan stuff.

    You and your suggestions have helped me and given me a lot of time back cos generally if you like something I know my family will like it. Fuck off to anyone who has a pop at you … I luv ya xxxxxx

  31. People need to get off their keyboards and start enjoying some of the glorious vegan junk food you bring to the world via reviews! Keep doing what your doing, looking forward to your Mexico posts x

  32. Bloody love you FGV! Haters gonna hate! Don’t let these judgemental arseholes get you down and keep doing what you do. I feel exactly the same as you do, how dare this person critique your eating habits! Who do they think they are?! People who think they can talk to others like that and body shame disgust me. Eating habits for a lot of people are a lot more complex than just the food we put in our bodies, we don’t need some self righteous prick telling us what we should or shouldn’t be eating! Great way of showing empathy and compassion on their part. Dicks!

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