Hey friends
For the past fifteen years some of you have been following me through ups and downs, through activism, celebrations, and also through my own personal challenges. One of the biggest struggles I have spoken openly about is compulsive eating disorder and the impact it has had on my health. This has never been easy to share, but honesty has always felt like the best way to stop myself carrying shame that doesn’t belong on my shoulders.
Just over a year ago I began using Mounjaro with medical support. In that time I have lost a significant amount of weight. The decision to make this change has been about more than numbers on a scale. My motivation is to protect both my physical and mental health, to do everything I can to avoid long term illnesses such as diabetes, and to reduce the chances of heart problems later in life. It has been a big adjustment, and I have tried to stay as transparent as possible on my blog, social channels, and podcast because I know many of you value that honesty and because it helps me feel less alone.
Now I find myself with a question for you. I am only one kilogram away from moving out of the obese category, according to NHS guidelines, and into the overweight category. I am not saying you will see me strutting down a Parisian catwalk anytime soon, but my appearance is already drastically different from how most of you have known me over the past few years and beyond.
That brings me to the name Fat Gay Vegan.
On one hand, this name is part of my history. I chose it as a political statement. I wanted to reclaim words that had been used to hurt or other me, to wear them proudly and to draw attention to the causes and communities I care about. On the other hand, I recognise that if I no longer appear fat in the way I have for most of my adult life, the name could become confusing or even hurtful.
This is why I want to hear from you. More specifically, I want to hear from people who currently identify as fat or overweight or who have done so in the past. How do you feel about me continuing to use this name as I move forward on this health journey? Does it still feel valid, or does it feel offensive?
I am not asking for input from those who have never lived in a fat body. This conversation is one for those of us who know first-hand what it means to navigate the world this way. Your thoughts matter deeply to me, and I would love for you to share them in the comments.
With gratitude,
Sean/FGV xx
Extra note: I know the temptation is huge and people want to say what they feel are kind compliments, but please do not leave any comments about my appearance or weight loss. I am not interested in congratulations or for anyone to tell me I look great. Honestly, please just don’t do it. No “well done” either!
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You raise an interesting point. I’ve blogged recipes for quite a few years now as Fat Girl Baking. I’m also on a health journey mostly related to type 2 diabetes but also other things that means a side effect of those diet and lifestyle changes is weight loss. I’m a long way off not being considered fat and like you I don’t want that celebrating or commenting on. However it gives me an interesting frame of reference and would I be comfortable in the future still being Fat Girl Baking? Maybe a rebrand for you that is FGV as it’s already how you’re known to many. I’d be really interested in knowing what other people with fat experience think.
Hiya. Thanks for the comment! Any suggestions of what the F can change to? Hahahah. I’ve jokingly titled this post Fabulous Gay Vegan. I also feel like getting rid of the Fat part of the name might come across as some sort of slight against being fat. Not sure of the direction to take.
fabgayvegan? hehe. although, i dont see a problem with you keeping the name, unless you do become out of the overweight category. in my opinion as a fellow overweight person. if you get new followers who only know you after your weight loss could look misleading and insulting
Thanks for your comment! xx
Hi Sean,
I’m a fat bi vegan, currently on my own Mounjaro journey for exactly the same reasons.
I don’t think anyone will ever judge you for using the word “fat” in your branding. It’s been part of your experience of life and I’m sure still influences your take on things. Also, I’m sure the majority of your followers have been with you on this journey in one way or another.
Be proud of what you were and what you are. If you’re happy with it then keep it. It’s not for other people to decide.
Anyway, keep up the great work!
Hiya Lesta. Thanks for your insights xx
Hi Sean. A negative person in my life used to call me fat as an insult. I’ve understood that you included it as part of your name as a way of taking the sting out of unkind words people have used against you. Even if it’s not currently accurate, people have used that as a way to belittle you in the past. Their affect on you is part of you, if you want to still use it in that context I think it’s ok. I hope that makes sense.
Thanks for your thoughts, Amy xx
You’ve built a brand around Fat Gay Vegan so I think it would be fine to keep it. That said, maybe it would be fun to transition to Fab Gay Vegan!
Fab does roll off the tongue quite easily!
Just lost 3 stone, partly due to 3 months on Mounjaro and partly due to getting my act together and not wanting to rely on Mounjaro, but have got there this week.
I’m still gay
What about Was Fat But Still Gay Vegan ?
All the best on your personal journey!
I have been obese all my life until now. I found a doctor’s note from when I was 2 weeks old telling my mother I was overweight and to reduce my milk…at 2 weeks old!! I’ve lost about 260lbs and am now considered “normal” weight. I am still an obese person at heart, just like a recovering drug addict is still an addict. So, I think you should use the terminology that makes sense to you. I’m still an obese person, but in recovery, and remind myself that every day as I make good choices (or bad ones on bad days). I’ve kept the weight off now for a full year and it’s a daily struggle to keep going, but that’s why they tell addicts to take it one day at a time…thinking about forever is too hard. Thinking about today is doable.
That story about the doctor’s note is WILD! So awful
I am currently on a similar journey, having been given medical advice to lower my BMI to reduce the risk of diabetes and heart problems, and already having liver problems due to my weight. I feel very positive about you cotinuing the use the same name, I wouldnt find it hurtful at all. To me, your name is represetative of your lived experiences, and as you said, a way to reclaim words used against you, whilst creating an account which is so inclusive and supportive and celebratory of enjoying food, which is even more inspiring as you’ve been so honest about your struggles with compulsive eating disorder.
Thanks Yasmin. All the best on your journey xx
Well it’s obviously your decision, but personally I’d love you to keep ‘Fat’ in there, it feels defiant and positive to reclaim it and still be an ally! Removing it feels a bit of a slight somehow… I’d be sad if you changed just that one word. Maybe, a total re brand would work better?!
Thanks for your comment, Emma!
Hi! I’ve oscillated between fat and less fat for most of my life as I’ve also struggled with eating disorders, so I totally get where you’re coming from with taking back a word that was used to hurt you. I actually love the idea of you keeping it, even if you’re no longer fat. Because that’s part of where you came from and what made you YOU! But of course, it’s entirely your choice and I would also not think it’s hurtful or a slight (personally) if you chose to replace the F with something else. I think the best thing about carving out a bit of the internet to express yourself and share the bits of your life you choose to share, is that you can do it how it feels right. Opening up this discussion is awesome, but ultimately this is your space and your name and your brand. What feels right to you?
PS: I still have cups from the FGV beer festivals and I used to love the market in Hackney! #longtermfan
Those cups must be looking a bit ragged by now!
Relate to the journey. Like someone says above, I also feel like I’m ‘in recovery’ from an addiction so a part of me will always be fat. I just don’t look it right now. I don’t want to be fat but I also don’t want to feel ashamed of the person I was when I struggled. Personally, I have no issue with anyone referring to themselves as fat whether it is a current or previous state.
The only thing I would say is that as your brand continues to grow, it could be confusing and strange to newcomers. From a purely commercial viewpoint, I guess the balance is between the established followers/customers and people who are aware of your brand and how to relate to new people without constantly having to explain the change and that becoming a dominant feature.
I like your optimism that the brand will keep growing! hahahaha
I lost 6.5 stone having been obese for much of my adult life. I made a decision to change my life before it was too late. I was on meds for high blood pressure, acid reflux and pain in my feet and ankles. My GP wanted me to start taking statins on top of all that and that was the final straw for me. I joined an online weight-loss organisation and just made the choice every day for the next year to keep showing up for myself. I have kept the weight off for 4 years and I feel so much better – my blood pressure is normal, I don’t have acid reflux and my feet can keep me walking for hours without a hint of pain.
I have re-discovered the joy in cooking and have become so inventive in order to have healthier versions of my favourite meals.
I did struggle with people’s congratulations etc but I have learned just to say ‘thank you’. Being fat must have been the first thing anyone ever noticed about me and now they notice that I made my bag myself, that I’m wearing hand-knitted sweaters and that I seem to enjoy my daily walks.
I did lose a very dear friend who just couldn’t accept me as I am now but apart from that I am so glad I finally chose to make the changes.
I love Fat Gay Vegan and I will also love Fab or Fave Gay Vegan just so long as you keep being you.
And thanks for sharing – I appreciate you.
Thanks for the kind words, Tina xx
I am fat, and not on a weight loss journey, despite the plethora of media telling me I should be! I would not find it insulting or offensive if you kept the name, it’s who you have been and it reflects your history. You could asterisk it with links to this blog if you wanted to clarify for those that cared/questioned.
Moving from ‘fat’ to ‘fab’ feels contrived and also makes me think ‘wait, does that mean you weren’t fab when you were fat?! Does that mean I can only be fab if not fat?!’
(To clarify…. No.)
I saw keep it. Changing to reference the change I think makes you sound like a weightloss account, which you’re not, and shouldn’t be (goddamn there’s enough of them!)
I’ve loved your posts over the years and still do! I’m technically in the slightly obese category, but beginning to work on my health. The word “fat” can also mean rich in and full of, and in your case now, rich/full of acceptance, empathy, joy, knowledge, love, etc. Ultimately, it is up to you about eliminating the word from your brand, but you can change that meaning, and already have!
Thank you for sharing your journey!
I think it’s so sweet and a testament to your character that you’re considering the impact it might have on others, but although your page is very public, it is still your page and your name and it should be called whatever you feel most comfortable with
It’s ok to leave it as fat as that’s part of who you are and it’s ok to change it to something that feels more you now, you won’t be betraying the fat community if you do.
How about Gay Vegan? Or Fit Gay Vegan? Or Fitter Gay Vegan? or stay with Fat Gay Vegan because being fat or not doesn’t have to be what defines you at all.
I wholeheartedly applaud you taking on Fat as a reclamation. I remember the effect it had on me when I first encountered you all those years ago. I too have been overweight yo-yo-ing all my life and so I know the trauma of feeling fat and the damage that identity does to our mental health. I felt a real shift in you calling yourself that and I’m grateful for you taking the stand. However, as you transition into a healthier weight, it might be weird and confusing to encounter you for the first time in your present physicality labelling yourself as “fat”. I love FGV as Fabulous. I think it works on many levels and, you totally are FABULOUS! Could also be Feygele (the reclaimed Yiddish word for gay).
As someone who is currently also on a Mounjaro journey, I am on the side of keeping the original name Fat Gay Vegan. It symbolises your starting point and who you were when you started; although the number on the scales is different you are still the same fabulous person. Like some of the other comments, I agree that taking a word that people use as an insult and using it to empower you (and others) is so important! Thank you for sharing your journey ✨
Cheers for your comment, Sarah xx
40st 4lbs down to 25st and still falling, bit im most concerned with here is the mirroring of my behaviour about not wanting praise for the weight loss, it clicks with my hatred of being weight “don’t praise me for my weakness in letting myself get this bad in the first place” or even worse, “Mounjaro’s done all the work”- You’re doing great, give yourself some space for positivity or the headspace that got us here in the first place will be burgeoning with neurosis.
I’m not against getting praise but praising weightloss is problematic in my mind as it can reinforce those sentiments of fat people not being as worthy. And when people say well done or you look great, it makes me feel like there is an unsaid element that I didn’t look good or wasn’t worthy of congratulations when I was fatter. I don’t want anyone to comment on my weight no matter what size I am!
Plus, I am on a medical intervention to deal with my compulsive eating disorder and I am in regular therapy for more than 7 years. I know what it takes to feel a bit more in control and having people say ‘great job’ makes me feel like all that other stuff is being forgotten or not recognised. I understand that people might not mean it like that, but weightloss and body is a very personal thing that is hugely complex.
Hearing ‘great job’ also frames weightloss as some sort of willpower triumph when in reality weightloss is not about better willpower for most people. I’m happy for people to say nice things about me being healthier and less at risk, but I don’t want them to tell me I look great. t’s enough that they feel happy for me.
I’ve been fat most of my life and run a vegan restaurant (you should visit!), I’m currently on Mounjaro because I have a lot of pain from work and want to be able to exercise without pain and also, honestly, just have a bit of an easier life, stand out because I want to not because I’m big. I haven’t discussed it with anyone because it goes against my beliefs on fat lib but I just don’t wanna be uncomfortable any more.
I think you should keep the name. It doesn’t just represent you as a person, it represents the community and following you’ve spent years building, it’s a big middle finger to diet culture, health woo, body shaming in disguise, which is so prevalent in vegan blogger/influencer culture.
The name is a signal that we’re safe with you; fats/queers of all descriptions/vegans/anyone with ethics, a body, or a sexuality that others them.
Thanks for your comment. What’s your restaurant?
I don’t think you need to change it! Bodies always fluctuate and you might find yourself at a higher weight in the future.
I would agree with Maggie weight changes especially when there’s little to lifestyle changes. I never had an issue with weight and when I started my vegetarian journey in primary school in the early eights there was little to none UPF vegetarian foods. I became vegan when I was 28ys in early 2000s and again there was less vegan junk food around. During all those years I had remained a stable weight of 49kg (7.7 stone) but had been increasingly consuming UPF as well as other high fat, salt and sugar foods. Following a cycling accident, I stopped exercising regularly, I continued eating the same as I did before whilst entering pre-menopause. For the first time in my life I became overweight and I gaining nearly half my weight on weight. I ignored this for years until I had a blood test which indicated that my cholesterol was high, and issues with liver function despite being a teetotal since the age of 27. I obviously then learned you can also get non-alcoholic fatty liver disease (NAFLD) from fat that builds up in your liver. Then the penny dropped, I was being unkind to my self by enabling my gluttony to continue. Luckily for me and I had previously done a masters in Health Psychology which includes training in behaviour change. So, I started applying what I knew on myself. I had watched for decades my mother in law and her yo-yo died whereby she would lose a lot of weight and after months she would gain it right back and that’s because her lifestyle is the same. She takes a break from her lifestyle whilst dieting and then goes back it once the dieting is over. With such an example in my life, I knew I needed a lifestyle change and not a diet. I used chronometer to initially go on a calorie restriction diet. I didn’t however really reduce portions, I reduced, fat, sugar and UPFs. If I wasn’t going out. I only allowed myself one UPF dessert oer day and my protein source was mainly tofu, tempeh and seitan or pulses with the occasional UPF meat substitute. I went down from 66.5kg (10.50 stone) back to 49kg (7.7 stone) within 9 months. It was a slow weight loss process out of choice. I didn’t want to restrict myself so much so that I would be deprived and return to unhealthy eating habits. I wanted to also take the time to develop different eating habits. So, I set my weight loss goal low. Since, I went back to eating without any calorie restrictions, I have maintained the habit of eating far less fat, sugar and UPFs. I am still the same 49kg (7.7 stone) and 3 times per week walk 5 miles per day. But I am mindful not to go back to old habits.
So, after this long intro, with regards to the name, I have no view regarding changing the name but my opinion is that changing the content of the blog is more important. We are already surrounded by so much advertising for UPF and high fat, sugar and salt diets dominate our lives in thr west. I don’t feel I need to see more of that content in a vegan forum. That’s what made me unwell the first time around. I want to see blogs and restaurants being considerate about the health aspects of the food we consume.
I’ve always struggled even when I was “skinny”, I always felt it was a struggle . I won’t own a scale in my house. Mostly for my mental health. Husband and I recently started Zepbound ….and I still won’t use a scale. The sees my weight while I’m on the scale backwards. I know but for my mental health …I won’t see the scale. I know I’m loosing weight.
I met you years ago …maybe Expo West ….you were so nice and if your name feels right ..own it ….you lived the journey….it was a part of you
Hey Sean! I think it’s completely up to you. If you change your name long time followers might still refer to you as Fat Gay Vegan (people are averse to change), you might also get called things like ‘the one who used to be Fat Gay Vegan’ and suchlike . On the other hand, if you don’t change it your name might not make sense to new followers, so you might get lots of queries about it and have to keep explaining ‘I used to be…’
Do what works for you! Presumably you are still gay and a vegan, so 2 out of 3 ain’t bad!
Michele
I think you should keep your name, it’s what you’re known as, and you reclaimed the term and turned it into something good. Also, consider how it may impact you personally – it could lead to a lot more conversations about weight and those irritating “well done, you look great” comments. It will draw more attention to the topic and you’d have to keep explaining “well, I used to ____”. Just keep being fabulous 🙂