Hey friends
For the past fifteen years some of you have been following me through ups and downs, through activism, celebrations, and also through my own personal challenges. One of the biggest struggles I have spoken openly about is compulsive eating disorder and the impact it has had on my health. This has never been easy to share, but honesty has always felt like the best way to stop myself carrying shame that doesn’t belong on my shoulders.
Just over a year ago I began using Mounjaro with medical support. In that time I have lost a significant amount of weight. The decision to make this change has been about more than numbers on a scale. My motivation is to protect both my physical and mental health, to do everything I can to avoid long term illnesses such as diabetes, and to reduce the chances of heart problems later in life. It has been a big adjustment, and I have tried to stay as transparent as possible on my blog, social channels, and podcast because I know many of you value that honesty and because it helps me feel less alone.
Now I find myself with a question for you. I am only one kilogram away from moving out of the obese category, according to NHS guidelines, and into the overweight category. I am not saying you will see me strutting down a Parisian catwalk anytime soon, but my appearance is already drastically different from how most of you have known me over the past few years and beyond.
That brings me to the name Fat Gay Vegan.
On one hand, this name is part of my history. I chose it as a political statement. I wanted to reclaim words that had been used to hurt or other me, to wear them proudly and to draw attention to the causes and communities I care about. On the other hand, I recognise that if I no longer appear fat in the way I have for most of my adult life, the name could become confusing or even hurtful.
This is why I want to hear from you. More specifically, I want to hear from people who currently identify as fat or overweight or who have done so in the past. How do you feel about me continuing to use this name as I move forward on this health journey? Does it still feel valid, or does it feel offensive?
I am not asking for input from those who have never lived in a fat body. This conversation is one for those of us who know first-hand what it means to navigate the world this way. Your thoughts matter deeply to me, and I would love for you to share them in the comments.
With gratitude,
Sean/FGV xx
Extra note: I know the temptation is huge and people want to say what they feel are kind compliments, but please do not leave any comments about my appearance or weight loss. I am not interested in congratulations or for anyone to tell me I look great. Honestly, please just don’t do it. No “well done” either!
If you appreciate these blog posts and the work I do to support vegan business, please consider making a one time small donation of a couple of quid online here. You might also be in the position to sponsor my work on an regular basis via Patreon.
You can order my book ‘Fat Gay Vegan: Eat, Drink and Live Like You Give a Sh!t’ online now. It has been out a while now but is still a good read. You can also listen to the Audiobook read by me!
You can watch/stream my weekly podcast Tell Me Where I’m Going (Wrong) on YouTube, Apple Podcasts, and Spotify.
Follow me on Instagram, Threads, TikTok, Facebook, and Blue Sky.
You raise an interesting point. I’ve blogged recipes for quite a few years now as Fat Girl Baking. I’m also on a health journey mostly related to type 2 diabetes but also other things that means a side effect of those diet and lifestyle changes is weight loss. I’m a long way off not being considered fat and like you I don’t want that celebrating or commenting on. However it gives me an interesting frame of reference and would I be comfortable in the future still being Fat Girl Baking? Maybe a rebrand for you that is FGV as it’s already how you’re known to many. I’d be really interested in knowing what other people with fat experience think.
Hiya. Thanks for the comment! Any suggestions of what the F can change to? Hahahah. I’ve jokingly titled this post Fabulous Gay Vegan. I also feel like getting rid of the Fat part of the name might come across as some sort of slight against being fat. Not sure of the direction to take.
fabgayvegan? hehe. although, i dont see a problem with you keeping the name, unless you do become out of the overweight category. in my opinion as a fellow overweight person. if you get new followers who only know you after your weight loss could look misleading and insulting
Thanks for your comment! xx
Hi Sean,
I’m a fat bi vegan, currently on my own Mounjaro journey for exactly the same reasons.
I don’t think anyone will ever judge you for using the word “fat” in your branding. It’s been part of your experience of life and I’m sure still influences your take on things. Also, I’m sure the majority of your followers have been with you on this journey in one way or another.
Be proud of what you were and what you are. If you’re happy with it then keep it. It’s not for other people to decide.
Anyway, keep up the great work!
Hiya Lesta. Thanks for your insights xx
Hi Sean. A negative person in my life used to call me fat as an insult. I’ve understood that you included it as part of your name as a way of taking the sting out of unkind words people have used against you. Even if it’s not currently accurate, people have used that as a way to belittle you in the past. Their affect on you is part of you, if you want to still use it in that context I think it’s ok. I hope that makes sense.
Thanks for your thoughts, Amy xx
You’ve built a brand around Fat Gay Vegan so I think it would be fine to keep it. That said, maybe it would be fun to transition to Fab Gay Vegan!
Fab does roll off the tongue quite easily!
Just lost 3 stone, partly due to 3 months on Mounjaro and partly due to getting my act together and not wanting to rely on Mounjaro, but have got there this week.
I’m still gay
What about Was Fat But Still Gay Vegan ?
All the best on your personal journey!
I have been obese all my life until now. I found a doctor’s note from when I was 2 weeks old telling my mother I was overweight and to reduce my milk…at 2 weeks old!! I’ve lost about 260lbs and am now considered “normal” weight. I am still an obese person at heart, just like a recovering drug addict is still an addict. So, I think you should use the terminology that makes sense to you. I’m still an obese person, but in recovery, and remind myself that every day as I make good choices (or bad ones on bad days). I’ve kept the weight off now for a full year and it’s a daily struggle to keep going, but that’s why they tell addicts to take it one day at a time…thinking about forever is too hard. Thinking about today is doable.
That story about the doctor’s note is WILD! So awful
I am currently on a similar journey, having been given medical advice to lower my BMI to reduce the risk of diabetes and heart problems, and already having liver problems due to my weight. I feel very positive about you cotinuing the use the same name, I wouldnt find it hurtful at all. To me, your name is represetative of your lived experiences, and as you said, a way to reclaim words used against you, whilst creating an account which is so inclusive and supportive and celebratory of enjoying food, which is even more inspiring as you’ve been so honest about your struggles with compulsive eating disorder.
Thanks Yasmin. All the best on your journey xx
Well it’s obviously your decision, but personally I’d love you to keep ‘Fat’ in there, it feels defiant and positive to reclaim it and still be an ally! Removing it feels a bit of a slight somehow… I’d be sad if you changed just that one word. Maybe, a total re brand would work better?!
Thanks for your comment, Emma!
Hi! I’ve oscillated between fat and less fat for most of my life as I’ve also struggled with eating disorders, so I totally get where you’re coming from with taking back a word that was used to hurt you. I actually love the idea of you keeping it, even if you’re no longer fat. Because that’s part of where you came from and what made you YOU! But of course, it’s entirely your choice and I would also not think it’s hurtful or a slight (personally) if you chose to replace the F with something else. I think the best thing about carving out a bit of the internet to express yourself and share the bits of your life you choose to share, is that you can do it how it feels right. Opening up this discussion is awesome, but ultimately this is your space and your name and your brand. What feels right to you?
PS: I still have cups from the FGV beer festivals and I used to love the market in Hackney! #longtermfan
Those cups must be looking a bit ragged by now!
Relate to the journey. Like someone says above, I also feel like I’m ‘in recovery’ from an addiction so a part of me will always be fat. I just don’t look it right now. I don’t want to be fat but I also don’t want to feel ashamed of the person I was when I struggled. Personally, I have no issue with anyone referring to themselves as fat whether it is a current or previous state.
The only thing I would say is that as your brand continues to grow, it could be confusing and strange to newcomers. From a purely commercial viewpoint, I guess the balance is between the established followers/customers and people who are aware of your brand and how to relate to new people without constantly having to explain the change and that becoming a dominant feature.
I like your optimism that the brand will keep growing! hahahaha
I lost 6.5 stone having been obese for much of my adult life. I made a decision to change my life before it was too late. I was on meds for high blood pressure, acid reflux and pain in my feet and ankles. My GP wanted me to start taking statins on top of all that and that was the final straw for me. I joined an online weight-loss organisation and just made the choice every day for the next year to keep showing up for myself. I have kept the weight off for 4 years and I feel so much better – my blood pressure is normal, I don’t have acid reflux and my feet can keep me walking for hours without a hint of pain.
I have re-discovered the joy in cooking and have become so inventive in order to have healthier versions of my favourite meals.
I did struggle with people’s congratulations etc but I have learned just to say ‘thank you’. Being fat must have been the first thing anyone ever noticed about me and now they notice that I made my bag myself, that I’m wearing hand-knitted sweaters and that I seem to enjoy my daily walks.
I did lose a very dear friend who just couldn’t accept me as I am now but apart from that I am so glad I finally chose to make the changes.
I love Fat Gay Vegan and I will also love Fab or Fave Gay Vegan just so long as you keep being you.
And thanks for sharing – I appreciate you.
Thanks for the kind words, Tina xx